Striving for Life
by Lost Wingz
Summary: I am a drop-out student at Gakuen Alice. Why do I drop? Simple: The atmosphere is not to my liking because it is very suffocating for me. Work is the only place for me to be myself. After all, I need the money to support my child... Welcome to my life...
1. Chapter 1: Strangers

**A/N: **_This story has been revised. Title change from Listen to the Wind to Striving for Life. Hope you enjoy n_n_

**Genre:** _Suspense, Drama, Romance, Mystery, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort_

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Striving for Life

Chapter 1: Strangers

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_We are strangers_

_And nothing more_

_._

_._

_._

I gaze at the Sakura tree, feeling lost.

The pink petals help me to calm down follow by a light breeze. I grab a small blossom off from the tree trunk and inhale the flowering scent. The sweet scent of the sakura makes me feel light.

I open a blank book and press the blossom between the two pages. The light breeze continues to sway in my direction, letting my auburn strands fly. I look up the sky, seeing the trail of the sakura blossom fly in the clear blue sky.

I shade my eyes from the burning rays of the sun, leaving a bright smile, seeing another fine day here at Gakuen Alice.

Mikan Sakura is the name, a normal 16 year old teenage girl. I'm just a girl who has matching auburn hair and eyes. There's nothing special about me. I'm like a ghost — everyone pass by me, not acknowledging my presence. I always stay and go who walks softly without making any sound.

I'm inside my school, fixing my braid pigtails and putting all the books inside the bag. I walk away from the sakura tree and into the busy hallway. A lot of people have crowded near their lockers who is either chatting away or making a flirtiest impression on their partner.

I constantly bump into other people who are too busy chatting to their friends that they never realise my existence and walk away. I finally find my locker and dial the lock to open.

I store the books that I didn't need and slam the locker loud but the noisy people didn't even realise a thing. I went to my classroom, seeing everyone chatting among themselves and didn't take a quick glance on whom.

I quietly went to my seat which it is at the back, near the window. I slid the chair and sat on it, resting my elbow on the table and gaze outside the window. The talking quiet down all of a sudden which makes me curious.

I shift my head to look at the silent people, curious on what's going on and follow their stare at the door. I roll my eyes, feeling exasperate.

_They are here _I said inside my head. I resume on staring at the window, disregarding the silent people.

If you want to know on _who _they are, I'll give you a brief summary.

If you see a guy who has jet-black messy hair that matches his piercing ruby eyes then you meet Natsume Hyuuga, aka the _devil_.

If you walk pass by a French model that has clear azure eyes and blonde hair then you meet Ruka Nogi who is the devil's best friend.

If you feel a cold sensation down your spine and see embarrassing picture of yourself that been posted around the entire school, you will meet a girl with amethyst eyes and boy cut raven hair, name Hotaru Imai aka the _Ice Queen _or _The Blackmailer_.

That's part of the summary. There's more but these main details are enough for _now_.

I begin to start the count down inside of my head.

_5…_

The sounds of their footsteps echo the silent classroom.

_4…_

Everyone gasp, sucking the air in their lungs.

_3…_

You could only hear the birds chirp.

_2…_

I securely shut my ears.

_1…_

"KYAAA!!" the whole _girls _and _guys _scream in the classroom — and maybe the entire world. I let out a curse under my breath.

The scream dies down all too quickly and the sound of footsteps stampedes to their _'godly'_ idols. I roll my eyes again, opening my A5 art book at front the desk and start to randomly doodle.

I like drawing — one of my favourite hobbies. Whenever I feel down, happy, bored or angry, I just randomly draw or doodle whatever it is in my head.

I automatically snap my book shut when the sound of the chair screeches beside me. I didn't even need to know who is my seatmate is.

Want to take a guess?

Here's a hint, this person is powerful that can brought the dead back to life.

No it's not superman or the mummy, it's the _devil _— although I prefer sitting next to the mummy who is _way _better than the devil.

The devil slams his feet loudly on the table and place a manga over his face, taking a nap.

I snarl, feeling irritated on having the devil as my seatmate. The teacher came in the classroom, wearing um — I let you imagine on what's he is wearing and believe me it is not _normal_. Think pink with a lot of frills.

"Class." He announce in a high tune, "we are having a pop quiz today." Everyone let out a groan.

I kindly take the sheet and begin answering.

.

.

.

Class is finish and I begin to roam again in the noisy hallway. The screaming suddenly increase to the max of high pitching girls swooning over the notorious devil. I didn't waver to look up.

What's the point?

We're nothing but strangers.

I increase my walk, walking pass Hyuuga. He looks _up _while I look _down_. Only our shoulders brush against each other and nothing more.

There's no spark or any deep whatsoever, only the cold shoulders. And the two of us didn't turn our heads. I reach the main office and enter. Nobody looks up.

And it is just like I said; I'm nothing but a ghost.

I walk to the counter where the office lady is busy talking on the phone and didn't look up. I took the pen and scribble my name on a piece of paper that says _signing out_.

I drop the pen and walk out the office. Everyone is gone by the time I close the office doors and I silently walk out of the school.

I have a part time job and education is not my problem. I'm even _smart_ enough to get a scholarship. The reason why I always sign out early is because of my shift.

I slowly drag myself along the busy path until my feet stop at a certain restaurant. I drop in the restaurant only to be greeted by Anna, a full time worker.

"Welcome, Mikan-chan." she welcomes me. I greet her with a smile and answer.

"Thanks, Anna." She gives me her bubbly smile and drags me into the employee room. I loosen my tie and dial the locker to open to reveal the worker's uniform.

"I'll see you outside." She said to me in a happy tone. I nod at her and Anna skips out the room. I let out a sigh and change my uniform.

Anna Umenomiya, a full time worker at Phlox — she is a happy-go-lucky girl with pink curly hair and emerald eyes. Anna automatically proclaims me as her friend since I'm close to her age. She takes apprenticeship on being a chef, so therefore she drops out at middle school. Anna doesn't care about education because she says _'studying gets in the way of you dreams'_.

A bang on the door interrupts my thoughts. I stop half-way on fixing my hair.

"Mikan, are you finished yet?" yelled a high girly voice.

"Not yet." I answer and hesitantly ask, "um little help here." The slam wide open follow by a sigh which reveal a girl with short jet-black hair and green eyes.

"Honestly, Mikan." She exclaim with an annoyed look evident on her face. She walks over to my side and fixes my hair. I sit very still and said _sorry _in a whisper like a child being scold from her mother.

"There done." She said in relief. I stood up and look at myself in the mirror. Everything is in place.

"Thanks Permy," I said in a happy voice. She scowled under her breath when I call her nickname.

"It's Sumire." She corrected me. I let out a chuckle. Sumire sighs again and added, "Why do you want to work, Mikan?" I stop laughing for a moment and my face darken. Sumrie notice my unhappy look and give me an anxious look.

"You don't have to answer if you don't want to." She assures and pats my back gently. I shook my head.

"It's okay." I answer and face at her with a smile, "I want to be independent like _you_."

Sumire sighs, "Mikan that's not the point." I decided to give her a hug, making her jump in surprise but Sumire returns it.

Sumire Shoda, a full time worker like Anna. She is older than me by two years. She quit school at the same age as me because of family issues. Therefore she is living independently. I don't know the reason why and I don't want to pry on her affairs.

Sumire break the hug and went to the door. She faces with a stern look.

"Get to work, Mikan." She calls me. I smile wider and happily run to her side. I walk ahead of her and stop at front with a sly smile on my face. She looks at me, confuse.

"By the way, it's _Amanatsu_."

.

.

.

It is night and work is finally finished. I tiredly walk to my apartment and weakly open the door. I flip the lights and hit the couch which it is the closest. I relax my body for while to loosen my sore muscles.

"What a day." I let out a groan. I look up the empty ceiling and my arm in the air. I begin to question myself.

_Should I go to school? _This question repeated inside my head, unanswered. I ball my hand into a fist and jump off the couch, walking to the kitchen. I pick up a pile of mails on the coffee table and start to flip through them one by one.

One letter catches my eyes — not a letter exactly, a _postcard_. I toss the unread mail and sternly scan the postcard. My face softens after reading the contents.

The postcard reads:

_Hey honey how's your day? We are really worried about leaving you all by yourself. It is a sad loss that you want to be independent but we know that is what you want and we are happy about your decision. You should always remember that mommy and daddy will love you always and we'll be here to support you! _

_We really miss you!!_

_Love mommy and daddy _

_P.S The pasta at Italy taste great! You should've try their sauce! _

If you flip the postcard, you can see my mom and dad, smiling happily at front of the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

"I miss you too, mom and dad." I sadly whisper to myself. I happily place the postcard in my drawer where all the postcards are safely kept. I shut the drawer and look at the clock.

It reads: **23:11 **(11:11pm)

_Good for a light jog _I thought to myself, excitingly. I went to my bedroom and open the closet. I pull my track pants and a hooded jumper, and change into it.

I exit the room and obtain the keys and phone from the table. I dash out of my apartment, locking the door and race my way down the stairs. Outside, I feel the cold sensation of the wind prickling onto my skin.

I inhale the cold lungful air and pull the hood over my head, covering a partial of my face. And I start to jog around the empty, dark city.

Why I like jogging at night?

It's simple: it's quiet and no one is around.

I increase my jog into a run, feeling my lungs burning inside. I took another route that leads to the park. The pathway becomes narrower the moment I set foot on it. I look around, seeing the briskly trees coming close.

My breathing begins to shorten as I enter the thickest part of the park. I turn my run into a walk as I gain my even breathing. I look up on the black sky, the moon shining brilliantly against the stars. The briskly tree rustles on the gentle breeze, the fallen leaves hitting against the hood.

I follow the trail of the leaves, leading me to the wind. I kick my way around the hard edges of the leafy bush and soon found myself at a glittering lake.

"Wow." I gasp, astonish on finding something _amazing_. The lake is crystal clear, reflecting the shimmering moon. I walk close to the lake, smelling the clean. I lower my hood letting my face feels the cold breeze.

_Amazing _I thought.

I close my eyes, hearing the melody of the wind. It gently plays like a bell.

Without warning, there is a sound of a broken twig. I flinch and acting on reflex, I pull my hood over my head, concealing my face.

I shift my head towards the sound.

"Who's there?" I demand, bluntly. The sound of rustling leaves stops and behind the bushes reveals a hooded stranger.

"I could ask you the same thing." The stranger said dryly. I pull my hood lower, shadowing my face from the stranger. I look at the stranger from under the hood and examine the person from head to toe.

The stranger face is completely hidden under the hood and the stranger's eyes is conceal beneath the shades. My suspicious rose and something tells me that this person is _up to no good_.

My eyes darken at the stranger and I regrettably say three words to the unknown person.

_Who are you? _

_

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_

So how do you like chapter 1? Do you think this is a good start? Sorry if it is a long chapter. And silent readers, please drop by and review, even it is just one word.

Who do you think the hooded stranger is? I bet you won't get the correct answer because the answer is not what you've expect. Find out in the next chapter. I want you guys be in suspence n_n

Remember to Read and Review everyone. =]

And also, read my other fanfic: Our Duet if you like musical instruments with a twist. ;)


	2. Chapter 2: A Small Gift

**A/N: **_Here's chapter 2. Hope you like it and be cautious, long chappie. =]. Chapter 2 have been revised. _

**Genre:** _Suspense, Drama, Romance, Mystery, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort_

* * *

Striving for Life

Chapter 2: A small gift

_____________________

_We're weren't meant to meet or know_

_But if a small gift makes you satisfied_

_Then so be it_

_._

_._

_._

I deeply regret opening my big mouth.

"Who are you?" I blurt out without thinking. I somehow feel the stranger smirk and the person hastily walk in my direction.

"Why should I tell you?" the stranger said in an emotionless voice. I back away in every step the stranger take. I hold the hood, scared it might fall off and securely shadow my face. The stranger stretch it arms, reaching at me.

"Tell me yours and I'll you tell mine." The stranger said cockily, walking towards me. I click my tongue, annoyed from the person's attitude. I could faintly feel the bastard's cold fingertips.

When the person almost reaches my face, my body took the better of me. I swipe the person's arm away from my face with my free hand and take steps forward then a twirl. I could hear the person gasp in surprise behind me and I take this advantage to kick the shins.

The unknown person groans from the surprise attack and kneels down to mend the injured knee.

"Son of a bitch." The stranger screams at me, cursing loudly. I smirk at the person and on instinct, I run away. I run intensely on where my feet are dragging me and I never once look back.

I lessen my pace when I spot a familiar building just up ahead. I took a stop on the stairway and regain my heavy breathing.

_Shit that was scary _I thought, feeling my body shake in fear. I shook my head, getting rid of the unwanted thoughts. I cough a few times before walking up to my apartment.

Once I enter, I slam the door shut, locking every lock available. I reach my empty room, letting my body drop on the comfy bed, hugging the pillow close to my chest and immediately let my eyes fall, drifting into dreamland.

.

.

.

It's the next day and here I am, sitting on the cut grass and leaning my back on the tree, hidden away from the noisy people. Lunch has started and I'm bored as hell. I could clearly hear the noisy people playing ruby or some giggly girls chatting among themselves.

The book lay open next to my side, no words written or drawn, on the blank page. I look up seeing the sky clear as day.

_Another boring day _I thought. I close my eyes for a moment, hearing the wind whispering in my ear. It's winter but snow has not fallen yet. I inhale the cold air, smelling that snow will fall sometime today.

Somewhere in the corner, a faint rustle disturb my nap. I snap my eyes wide, standing up from the resting tree and hold my guard.

The rustling becomes louder, I glower my head, ready to escape. I count to three inside my head.

_1…_

It is getting louder than before.

_2…_

I swiftly take the books close to my chest.

_3…_

I was about to make a jump for it when a slight _meow _disrupt my ear. I raise a brow.

_Meow? _I steadily turn my head at the voice. No one is there.

_Meow_

There is it again and it is coming from _below_. I look down to find a baby black kitten at my feet. I kneel down and the kitten begins to _meow _happily.

"How stupid of me." I whisper to myself. I lean back on the tree and massage my temples. The kitten picks up something from the bushes and nudges my arm by the time it reaches me. I look down from the corner, seeing the kitten holding a _variegated tulip _in its mouth.

An idea pops inside my head.

I open my art-book, leaving it flat on the ground and place the lead of the pencil on the blank page. I look at the kitten once before gluing my eyes on the book. I roughly draw the outlines of the picture, follow by lightening the details.

After thirteen minutes of drawing, I add a few details in the background and I finish. I look at my black and white drawing with a smile plastered on my face. The drawing is perfect.

"Don't you ever get tired of drawing, Mikan-chan?" said a voice from behind. I didn't need to wisp my head at the person from behind since that voice is always familiar to my ears.

"If hell freezes." I answer bluntly. The person laughs at my answer and sits next to me.

"In other words, no." the person, translate. I roll my eyes displeased on the answer like it is the obvious thing for not knowing. The person playfully whacks the back of my head. My head falls forward, almost landing on the moist ground.

The person holds my shoulder firmly before I hit the ground. I glare at the person and thrust the hand away from my shoulder.

"Whoa, steady girl." The stranger said in a cowboy accent, raising two hands at front. I lean my back on the tree, feeling exasperated.

"Koko, you jerk." I mumble at the person. Koko just laugh, unaffected by my harsh words and mischievously mess my hair. I scowled and move away from him.

Koko tilts his head, making a hurt expression on his face and said, "Is this how you treat your neighbour?"

"_Ex_-neighbour." I correct him, feeling my finger brushing the kitten fur. I lift the kitten off the ground and lightly place the kitten on my lap. I pull the red ribbon which hangs loosely on my hair and neatly tie the ribbon around the kitten's neck, making a bow. The kitten meows loudly happily after tying the ribbon.

"I think _he _likes it." Said Koko, popping out of nowhere and sit next to me. I look at him weirdly.

"_He_?" I retort, "It's definitely a _she_." Koko shook his head.

"It's a boy." He argued.

"Girl."

"Boy."

"Girl."

"Boy."

"GIRL."

"Alright then, let me check it." He said annoyed and lift the kitten away from my lap. I face away, feeling disgusted when he check the kitten gender.

"Ah huh." Koko shouted and snicker, putting the kitten on his lap, "I knew it. It's a _boy_." I roll my eyes, again and pat — not so lightly — at his back.

"Bravo on discovering it's a boy." I said to him, sarcastically and stop patting his back. From the corner of my eye, I notice Koko stole a black marker from me and scribble something on the ribbon. I inch closer, curious on what he is doing.

I read the not-so-neat, handwriting.

"Noir?" I said, dryly and raise a brow. He nods his head, widening the goofy smile on his face.

"It means _black _in French." He explains, "instead of naming him _kuro_, we should name him _Noir_." I look at the kitten, unsure of the new name.

"Noir…?" this comes out as a question instead of a statement. The kitten meows loudly, who has already take a liking on the name. I smile the kitten warmly and brush the soft fur.

"Then Noir it is." I declare the name. The kitten purrs loudly, begging to scratch his fur. Koko joins and scratch the kitten behind the ears. The two of us chuckle, feeling comfortable of the silent mood.

After all it's very peaceful, hiding away from the all-so-noisy—

"KYAAAAAA, Natsume-sama!!"

Correction: not so peaceful after all. Koko and I flinch from the sudden scream. The kitten scurry away from his lap and into the bushes, frighten from the high-pitching scream.

"What the?" I scowl, blocking my ears from the high pitching scream and rip some leaves from the bushes, making a small hole to see what's going on. Koko squeeze in.

I narrow my eyes while Koko looks — well — goofy, as usual.

"Happy Birthday, Natsume-sama." One of his fan girls squealed loud enough to get a bleeding ear and shyly hand him a present. Natsume snatch the gift off from the girl's hand as the girl screech in delight and scuttle away to her petty friends.

I look back at Hyuuga to find that the present is already in the bin and the devil is nowhere in sight. Backing away from the bushes, I crawl on my knees to search the frighten kitten.

"Is it Hyuuga's birthday or something, today?" I ask Koko in a bored voice, still searching for the kitten. Koko slap his face.

"It's November 27th." He state matter-of-fact.

"And?"

"It's obvious that it _today_ is his birthday." He exclaim, annoyed of my lack of intelligence. I give a shrug.

"Don't know why everyone is fussy about it." I remove some unwanted shrubs, looking endlessly on finding the kitten. Koko heave a sigh.

"Honestly, everyone will be _delighted_." He emphasizes in a bored tone, "who wouldn't be excited on giving gift to Hyuuga?"

"_Me_." I answer straightforward and frown, "Noir where are you?" He shook his head, exasperate and snatch my art-book right from under my nose. I let out a groan, tired on finding Noir and join Koko under the tree.

"Honestly, where is that cat?" I exhale, exhaustedly.

"Maybe he find a better place." He responds dully, not taking his eyes off the book while flicking the page. I look at him from the corner of my eye.

I bluntly ask, "What are you doing?"

"What does it looks like?" he answers a little too quickly. I rest my head on his shoulder; feeling tired and look at the flicking page.

"It's nothing good to see." I mumble under my breath, hoping he didn't hear and luckily, he didn't.

"Why don't you give this to him?" Koko suddenly suggested out of the blue and press the drawn book on my face. I absently stare at the drawing and raise a brow.

"Why would I?" I said in monotonous voice. Koko slam the book on the face. I jump away from his shoulder and rub the bruise nose. I snarl acidly, "What was that for?" while giving him my glare.

He flash the picture once again at front of mine with a stern look, "give this picture to him." I snatch the book away from his hands and look at the picture, carefully.

It is the picture I just drawn today: a black kitten with a ribbon around its neck, surrounding by a field of flowers with an individual flower in its mouth and it is in black and white.

"But this picture doesn't look good." I said to him stubbornly, finally giving in the fight. Koko slap his forehead, feeling annoyed from my stubbornness and snatch the book again from my grip. I stare at him blankly.

The jester took the drawn page in his hand and torn the page from the book. I blink twice before getting back into reality and run towards, with my arms waving the air in a panic.

"Hey." I shout to him, panic rushing in my head, "why are you doing to my book?" the jester ignores my complaints. Instead, he tosses the book at me while waving the paper in the air with a goofy grin on his face.

My face flushes in anger as I try to run up to him, reaching the paper in his hand.

"Give it back." I growl at him. Koko obediently hands the paper back as I snatch it away from his grubby hands. I look at the drawing, full of concern and thankfully there are no smudges.

Before I have the chance to glare at him, he shouted to me "think fast." And toss something directly at me. I gracefully catch the object in my hands and look down to find my scented oil pastel in my hand.

I glance at Koko, confuse and said, "What…?"

"Just add _his _trademark." He stated, emphasizing the word strongly. I look at the pastel again; the colour of _red _deepens inside my head until _his ruby _eyes flashes in my eyes. I turn my head to Koko, mouthing an '_oh_' while he gives me the thumbs up.

I drop down to my knees, placing the torn paper on top of the book and begin colouring the main parts. I added the colour red on the kitten's eyes — reminding me of the devil piercing stare— also including the ribbon — the one I have worn today — and the parts of the variegated tulip from the kittens mouth.

I wipe the small trail of sweat with the back of my palm and breathe a sigh of relief, indicating that I'm finish. Koko look over from my shoulders and grin wider on his goofy face for being happy of my work.

"Tell me," he asks, "What do these flowers mean?" and pointed out the flower from the kitten's mouth to the flowers in the background. I pointed the flower on the kitten's mouth and started explaining.

"This flower here is a variegated tulip," I explain to him slowly, "in the language of flower it means _beautiful eyes _which indicates the kitten's red eye." I pointed the ruby eye at top, showing him its meaning. Koko slowly nods his head, registering everything inside.

"This flower here," I continue, pointing the flower in the background, "is the white heather flower. This flower means _protection _— or in this case — _wishes will come true_." I smile.

"And this flower here —"

"Oi! Koko where are you?" yelled an angry person, cutting my lecture. The two of us jump from the scream.

"Crap." He said annoyed and look at me with an apologetic face, "Sorry. It seems like they searching for me." I wave at him, saying that it is okay. Koko gives me another apologetic face.

"You could me tell me the last flower," he said in a suggestive way, trying to make up for the cause. I shook my head and smile at him.

"You don't need to worry." I reassure him and add, "The last one is not a concern." He looks at me unconvinced.

"Koko, you better be here or you'll be Koko Crunch for breakfast." One of his friends said in a threaten voice, angry on finding the jester.

"Sorry." He apologises, again and scurry out the bushes, meeting up with his friends. I overhear him and his friends laughing at some corny joke.

Kokoro Yome —or Koko, for short — he is part of the _popular _group where he is belong to the _devil's _gang aka the _Jester._ Believe it or not, Koko and I _used _to be neighbours when we are kids. But that's only for a short time before he moved. It's hard to believe he stills remember me after the years of separation.

The only time he gets to see me is during lunch — like today — or if he has spare time. He is the only person who doesn't see as a ghost or a shadow and he is my _only _friend at this school.

That's enough explaination for the time being.

I pull out a fountain pen and scribble the word _Happy Birthday Natsume Hyuuga _at the edge of the bottom paper.

The bell ring twice by the time I finish writing. I neatly fold the paper in four and pack all the stuff in the bag. I exit from my hiding place and went to the hallway where all the lockers are.

Everyone is gone by the time I enter. I frantically look around in every direction, searching for Hyuuga's locker. I finally spotted at the far end where the girls are hyperventilating after putting something suspicious in the locker.

I smirk after the girls left in a giggly mood. _Must be Hyuuga's locker _I said to myself inside my head. When I reach his locker, I cautiously slip the small present in the locker, making sure that no one is looking and walk away.

I stretch my arms at the front gates, feeling happy like a weight has been lifted off from my shoulders. I scream the word _success _over and over again in my head and walk to my next destination: _work_.

_Oh yeah,_

_Want to keep a secret?_

_Remember the last flower, the one I didn't get the chance to explain? In the background, there's a small flower next to the kitten, not visible to the untrained eye._

_Want to know what it is?_

_It is a small white rose. In the language of flower the white rose means: __Innocent and Purity__ or __Eternal Love__ or __You're heavenly _

_But in my case, the white rose means:_

_Silence and Secrecy_

_What does it mean?_

_It means that I'm silent to that person like a ghost and the present I give is a secret. _

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_And that's the end of chapter 2. Did you enjoy reading it? I hope you do =] Sorry I didn't reveal who is the stranger but the hooded stranger is not you have expected. It will soon be later reveal in the later chapters. I don't want to spoil the suspense. _

_Remember to Read and Review (flames are always welcome)_


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